Robert A. Glover Quotes

Most Nice Guys will really like the last benefit on the list. Helpless, whiny, wimpy, and needy are not attractive on a man. Confidence and self-assurance are. Most folks are attracted to men who have a sense of self. Putting the self first doesn't drive people away, it attracts them. Putting the self first is essential for getting what one wants in love and life. Taking

there is plenty for everyone. Everything we need is flowing by us — all we have to do is get out of the way of our own small thinking and let it come.

"He came to realize that he would be OK regardless of whether he and Barb made it as a couple. Much to his surprise, their relationship began to improve. As he let go of trying to solve her problems and detached from her moods, Gil found that he had fewer frustrations and resentments. He even began to see Barb as a "gift" to help him work through his issues with his angry father. A year later he announced to his men's group that he and Barb had set a date to get married. He reported that they were getting along better than he would have ever imagined. He shared that the turning point seemed to be when he made the decision that he didn't care whether they made it together or not. That decision represented a conscious letting go of trying to control something that was clearly not in his control. Ironically, he shared that the process of letting go allowed him to receive what he really wanted."

"As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering"

"What do I think is right?" or uses the committee method, he will always be out of integrity. If he asks himself what he believes is right but doesn't do it, he is also out of integrity. Only by asking himself what he believes is right and then doing it does he become a man of integrity.

covert contracts and caretaking only lead to frustration and resentment.

Recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome is dependent on revealing one's self and receiving support from safe people. It is essential, therefore, that men who want to break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome find safe people to assist them in this process.

Like his mother, his wife was only attentive when she was emotionally needy. Like his father, she could be critical and controlling. By applying his childhood road map to his marriage — trying to do everything right, being attentive and nurturing, never being a moment’s problem, hiding his mistakes — Jason created an illusion that he could get his wife to approve of him all the time, be sexually available whenever he wanted, and never get mad at him. His defective paradigm prevented him from seeing that no matter what he did, his wife would still at times be cold, critical, and unavailable, and that maybe he needed her to be that way.

"As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering Nice Guy decides to stop settling for bad sex!"

By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one — including themselves.

There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.

Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs a priority.

women, security means not having to guess what a man is thinking or where he wants to go. Furthermore, it means not having to take responsibility for making all the decisions and not having to take charge.

I define personal power as a state of mind in which a person is confident he can handle whatever may come. This kind of power not only successfully deals with problems, challenges and adversity, it actually welcomes them, meets them head on, and is thankful for them. Personal power isn't the absence of fear. Even the most powerful people have fear. Personal power is the result of feeling fear, but not giving in to the fear.

■​If I can hide my flaws and become what I think others want me to be, then I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life