Jarod Kintz Quotes

The statue stood quiet and still, like the silhouette of a tired mime.

I put the sing in single — especially when I’m in the shower. Does anybody have any requests they’d like to shout out while the water’s getting hot? As always, silence all cell phones during the duration of my performance.

My ticket's been bought, and my luggage is packed. I'm storing both of my bags under my eyes. Or am I just tired from lying awake daydreaming of you?

The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol.

Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called.

I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me.

Love speaks to the heart like a mime to a mute.

Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.

I’m thinking ahead to how I’ll be thinking back to me thinking ahead in this moment.

I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.

Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench.

Thank goodness women aren’t as superficial as men. Where would a guy like me be if all women cared about were looks? The plastic surgeon’s office, that’s where.

If green is envy and blue is depression, then I’m feeling quite turquoise right now. But maybe with a little luck, I’ll feel teal a little later.

Men and women think about love differently. The main difference is that men simply don’t think about it.

My expectations are sky low, because I’m standing on a mountaintop.